People Search Party
July 25th, 2008
After all this talk of lipsticks, ice cream, and non-invasive plastic surgery procedures, Mrs. X is dead tired of recommending products for your consumption. Sometimes a girl just wants to veg out in her PJ’s, surfing the Internet for the best deals on things you can’t get at CVS. So today we’re going to move away from basic goods and services to something a little different.
One of the greatest things the Internet has provided the habitual voyeur inside of us all is the ability to run a people search within the privacy of your own home. A people search is an online service that combs through public records for you using search terms you set yourself, using as little or as much information as you have.
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It’s a sad but true fact that after a certain age, a woman can no longer rely on tubes of self-tanner and pots of concealer to mold a sagging face etched with wrinkles into the supple visage preferred by men around the world. Though it’d be nice to live in a fantasy land where what’s on the inside really is what counts, you and I both know all too well that what counts is on the outside, namely on your face (and your body, too, but that’s a topic for a different post.)
Why do people hate doing the dishes so much? I can’t comment on why people dislike all types of menial labor, but in the case of dirty dishes it may have a lot to do with the useless bottle of dishwashing soap sitting atop the sink like a little king lording over his dirty subjects. To you, dishwashing soap, I say, you are useless! You do not cut through grease coating my baking pan, scrub off the melted cheese on my china plates, or eat through the crust in a lasagna pan left overnight! It is time for your reign of terror to end! No longer will I be up to my arms in suds, desperately trying to pick off the remains of last night’s potato’s au gratin, marring my manicure beyond retrieval. No longer, I say! It’s it’s time for all of us procrastinating dishwashers to switch soaps for the good of ourselves and the dishes, and I’m just the lady to tell you what to buy.
Okay, it’s summer and everyone else is eating ice cream - so why can’t you? If you were actually eating an amount in keeping with your daily calorie counting, it would be less than the standard scoop at any respectable ice cream stand. Well, never fear. While your neighborhood ice cream slinger may not stock anything less than a zillion calories, your neighborhood grocery store does. So here’s the best… but first, some ground rules: 
