One of the greatest things the Internet has provided the habitual voyeur inside of us all is the ability to run a people search within the privacy of your own home. A people search is an online service that combs through public records for you using search terms you set yourself, using as little or as much information as you have.

In the past, anyone trying to find an old friend would have to hire a private investigator, which was costly and not all that private. An online people search bypasses all that and takes you directly to the source, giving you only the information you need based on the search terms you input.

You may think a people search isn’t applicable to you just because you haven’t got a long lost cousin to search for or an old lover you’re dying to reconnect with. Not so, ladies! A people search can be used for far more than just personal matters. It can be used to pad the address book, track down classmates for a reunion, or even just look up guests for a party. My annual garden fete wouldn’t be quite the same without the power of people search to fill out the guest list (turns out Mrs. Y next door is too jealous of my rose bushes to set foot in the gazebo).

Public Records Now is by far the most comprehensive people search engine on the Internet and, best of all; it’s one of the most affordable. To run a basic people search will cost you all of $2.95 - less than that Venti Soy Chai Latte you’re sipping on now - and will net you all of the info you need to find whoever you want. Full name, age, date of birth, address, current phone number, and even possible relatives are all included in the basic people search package. And did I mention it’s $2.95? I know I did, but seriously there’s no other place on the web you easily access accurate information without paying a bundle.

You know Mrs. X wouldn’t tout Public Records Now so highly if it didn’t appeal to both her need for privacy and love of frugality. Public Records Now isn’t free, but it’s as close to free as you’re going to get. Unless you’d rather ruin your manicure by rifling through dust covered piles of files that have been sitting in a clerk’s office for the past 40 years? I thought not.

***Picture thanks to Plan 59***

If we were currently living 50 years ago the only option available to us women trying to stave off the power of gravity would be dermabrasion, a somewhat nasty procedure that involves sanding your skin down to achieve a smoother surface. The downside of treating your face like a piece of plywood is a lot of blood and irritation. Luckily in our modern age the options have expanded considerably and there are now several, non-surgical methods available to the ladies who refuse to take crow’s feet lying down.

Despite their being touted as “non-invasive,” many of these procedures involve invasive instruments like needles (shudder) and lots of local anesthesia. Going into the doctor’s office can be frightening if you don’t know what you’re in for. But, as usual, Mrs. X has got your back and is ready to give you the low down on anything you can pump into your face and call it younger.

The classic face smoother is Botox, created from the powerful botulism toxin. A doctor injects the Botox into voluntary face muscles, causing them to become paralyzed. Results last about 4 to 6 months, after which the patient must return for another fill up. Many women report great success with Botox, although the drug is not free of side effects. As with most poisons, the body develops a resistance to it, meaning that every time the patient returns to the doctor for a touch up, a higher dosage will be needed to achieve the same effect. Do not forget that Botox is a poison and may affect different women differently depending on application and physiology of the patient. The average cost of Botox varies depending on the dosage and the doctor, but usually hovers somewhere around $200 to $500 per injection.

In the wake of Botox have come several competitors claiming to use natural, non-toxic fluids for the same affect. Restylane is one of these, made of hyaluronic acid that is found naturally in the skin and joints. Like Botox, Restylane is applied with injections and should only be used for small areas. Trying to use the product on a wider canvas will result in lumps and a lumpy face is probably not what you’re going for when you pay nearly $600 per injection. Another product with the same procedure is Sculptra, which in my opinion, is the same product under a different name.

For women who want to attack a melting face with a wholesale approach rather than wrinkle by wrinkle, there are several ways to achieve a facelift effect without actually having to go under the knife. Unlike dermabrasion, laser resurfacing is gentler and causes a lot less blood loss. The laser gently strips away the outer layers of skin and reveals the younger looking skin below. It does however increase skin’s sensitivity to the sun and any woman who undergoes it should become best friends with the Coppertone baby posthaste. A dermabrasion will cost you about $2,000 to $4,000 (hey, nobody said smooth skin comes cheap).

Thread lifting is another interesting concept that has become common in the last few years. Performed in a doctor’s office with general anesthesia, a thread lift involves inserting barbed sutures under facial tissue to lift sagging skin without incisions. Lest you look like Frankenstein, the threads are comfortingly clear and invisible, though your face will be swollen and bruised for a few days after the procedure is performed. Thread lifting is only really effective on women with minimal signs of aging and it’s costly at $1,500 to $4,000

If you’re not hot on having barbed threads inserted into your nasal cavity, a ThermaCool Facelift might appeal to you. It utilizes radiofrequency to tighten facial muscles and promote collagen growth, which plumps the skin for a younger effect. It’s FDA approved, and does seem to reduce the appearance of wrinkles, though the long term effects are as of yet unknown. You might also try standing in front a microwave or a radio broadcasting tower if you don’t have the $4,000 needed to get you a seat in the doctor’s office.

Now before I sign off, I must say that in a lot of ways these mini-facelifts are rather barbaric. Think about it: injecting poison into the muscles, using barbs to hold up sagging skin, projecting lasers onto your face. What would Vlad the Impaler have given for access to these nifty inventions? It would be irresponsible to simply recommend them all without couching it in a personal opinion. Mrs. X firmly believes that you cannot pump your face full of poison and not having some lingering side effect a few years down the line. So the best thing you can do before signing up for one of these procedures is research into their side effects and the doctors who perform them. It’s ultimately your choice what you choose to have done and nobody should judge you for it. But before you start phoning up doctors looking for the lowest price in town, consider this: who are you really trying to please? If the answer isn’t yourself, you need a therapist for your self esteem issues, not a plastic surgeon for those naturally occurring wrinkles. In any case, the cost is about the same, but one may have better (and longer lasting) results than the other.

***Picture thanks to Plan 59***

If you’ve got sensitive hands and are allergic to those ubiquitous yellow rubber gloves, there are a whole host of products made just for you. Your best bet is Palmolive Ultra, Aromatherapy Liquid Soap. Not only will it protect your baby smooth skin from any harsh chemicals, it will also release a scent of soothing lavender that will hopefully calm any tension that may have erupted over the dishes.

The crunchier among us might like a soap that is environmentally friendly - “green” as the young might say. Method Dish Soap is a popular favorite among that set, as it works efficiently without leaving a lot of soap residue to wash away. But watch out - it’s incredibly concentrated and even the grossest of dishes require only a small amount.

The best thing about dishwashing soaps is that they’re all relatively cheap and give you a lot of bang for your buck. Even the more expensive ones cost less than $6. By far the best place to browse your options is drugstore.com, where great deals can be had on all types of dishwashing liquids. No matter what your particular need is, you can usually find something on there for a good price.

Now that you’ve switched your soap, cleaned the dishes, and wiped the remains of last night’s dinner off your sink, are you pleased with yourself? No? Well then, I’ve got 4 words for you: Get outta my kitchen!

The first thing to keep in mind is to check the calorie content for whatever frozen delight you’re slurping. Some ice creams labeled “light” are only “light” in reference to their color, not their calorie content. For example, as much as we love Vermont hippies, the Light version of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food packs 210 calories per half cup, which isn’t exactly, er, light.

That said…

Breyers has a whole line of Light ice cream with less fat and less calories, and all your favorite usual suspects are there: Vanilla, Rocky Road, and my personal downfall, Butter Pecan.

Dreyer’s Slow Churned ice cream is also a good bet. With half the fat and 1/3 fewer calories, Dreyer’s slow churning adds air to the ice cream and makes it creamier - which makes it less dense and have fewer calories.

Finally, check out the Healthy Choice ice cream family of products. I say “family of products” because while their ice creams may be yummy, their ice cream BARS are the real winners. Try the Ice Cream Vanilla Bar with Fudge Coating. At only 80 calories, 13 grams of carbs and 1 gram of fat, it’s my go-to treat poolside.

Whatever you choose, make sure you enjoy it! And if you can’t, break out the good stuff (I get the Godiva Sampler delivered right to my door thanks to Ice Cream Source), and resolve to make it up somewhere else. After all, who says you can’t have ice cream for dinner at least once a year? Not Mrs. X.

***Picture thanks to Plan 59***

What if you could do both? What if you could save the turtles and work on your tan? Maybe plant trees and trek through the rainforest? Never fear, that’s exactly where Volunteer International comes in. Consider it your one-stop shop for all do-gooder vacations. It has a search engine with links to all sorts of charity vacations.

Want to transport supplies to remote village in Niger? Here’s the place! For me, that tilts too far on the “do-gooder” end of the spectrum rather than “vacation,” but there’s more than a few opportunities we found that offer a good balance, here were some of our favorites:

• Greenforce will take you to the Bahamas where you’ll spend your days scuba diving and assisting conservation efforts with the Bahamas National Trust. Chart coral, count fish, and locate feeding grounds - it sounds like too much fun to be helpful, frankly, but apparently it is. And even if you’ve never dived before, they’ll provide PADI certification during your first week! Four weeks of scuba bliss will run you $2,800.
• If four weeks of lounging about the beach sounds nice and all, but your boss freaked out the last time you took a long weekend, you might want to check out Cross-Cultural Solutions. They offer week-long Insight Abroad trips for those with a lot of heart but not a lot of time. The work is tougher than merely swimming around with dolphins - more like teaching English, caring for the children, or assisting with healthcare. However, with programs in Brazil, Costa Rica and Guatemala, it might be worth it to be spitting distance from the beach. Week-long programs cost $1,695.
• Another site worth checking out for weeklong stints is Globe Aware. They offer trips to a lot of the same locales as Cross-Cultural Solutions, so it’s worth comparing the two to see which offers a program more suited to your preferences. Personally, teaching Buddhist monks how to use computers in Thailand sounds too good to be true, so don’t be surprised if the next Consumer Advocate update comes at you from Thailand!

Happy camping!

***Picture thanks to Plan 59***

Long wear lipstick is like mana from the Goddesses. A lipstick that stays on through kisses, cookies, and other various activities without fading or rubbing off? It’s utter genius! Why didn’t Edison invent it before the light bulb? Unfortunately, like its lesser lasting compatriots, long wear lipstick is not without its downsides, the chief of which being how incredibly drying it is (moisturize your lips before even thinking about applying; if you don’t, you’ll look - and feel - like you’ve been making out with a crocodile). There is also the fact that an incredible number of brands are currently producing their version of the long wear lipstick miracle. With so much choice laid out before you, it’d be easy for the average girl to get confused and buy the wrong thing. But never fear! I, Mrs. X, have road tested several of the more popular choices in long wear lipstick and am here to give you the low down on them all. And I never lie.

I’m going to start on the more expensive end of the spectrum because it makes me feel rich. Christian Dior’s Diorific Long-Wearing True Color Lipstick is, well, Diorific in every sense of the word. Its lovely gold dumbbell package is opulent and the colors contained therein are bright and heavily pigmented. These colors are not for the faint of heart or the pale of face. Sadly, even Mr. Dior can’t keep his long lasting lipstick from turning tacky after a few hours on the lips; not what you expect for $24.50.

Keeping it in the high tax bracket, Estee Lauder offers the fantastic Double Wear Stay in Place Lip Duo ($24). It is more typical of the long lasting lippies as it comes in a dual color/gloss tube. Apply the matte color first, and then gloss up to seal it in. The gloss end of the tube is equipped with a nail polish-like teensy brush to better apply the shine. But look out - it’s very sticky, so pull back your hair unless you want it shellacked to your lips. If you’re married to the lipstick and can’t abide by gloss, Clinique Long Last Shine is a decent alternative, but without the additional moisture to soften up the lips, you may look like you’ve been drinking seawater after a few hours. I know I did.

Moving into drugstore territory, there is no shortage of similar products for much less money. Sadly, with the drop in price there is also a drop in quality. Many of the long lasting lip colors from our favorite cheap brands like Wet n’ Wild and Cover Girl are just too damn drying and smell vaguely chemical when applied. L’Oreal’s Infallible Lip Color is tempting and attractively packaged, but only lasts about 4 hours - great for date, not so great if you need it to last all day (and possibly all night). A classic drugstore caliber long wearing lipstick is from our friends at Max Factor. Their cutely named LipFinity line is similar to Estee Lauder’s color/gloss duo, except it’s $10.89 and feels like it. Remember what I said about looking like you’ve made out with a crocodile? Unless you have a soft spot for the scaly type, forgo the LipFinity for the fabulous Revlon Colorstay Overtime Lipcolor ($11.95) - same idea, much better execution. It goes on smoothly, sets beautifully, and does not budge, no matter how many hot wings you scarf during happy hour. I’ve personally stocked up on a case of the stuff: It appeals to my vanity and my frugality. Plus my lips look amazing for days on end. So go ahead, drink that cocktail, eat that bucket of popcorn, kiss that cute boy, and blow your money on a new pair of shoes - our ladies at Revlon have got your back.

***Picture thanks to Plan 59***

Of course, there’s beer, and then there’s beer. (And then there’s a hangover, but that’s another matter.) So when you’re stocking up for your summer imbuement - or even when you’re out on the town - what’s the best brew? And what’s best avoided?

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale seems nice and light (it’s called “pale” isn’t it?) but it actually has more than double the calories in your average light beer. One bottle clocks in at 210 calories. In fact, if you’re watching the calories and lucky enough to be in a bar with microbrews you don’t recognize, pretty much anything called “Stout” or “Pale Ale” or “IPA” or “Fat-Ass Beer” should best be avoided.

The average beer has somewhere in the range of 140 to 170 calories. That’s about as much as a chocolate bar, which is the perfect way to think about it: each bottle you down is another chocolate bar you’re rubbing on your thighs.

As the name would suggest, light beers are always your best bet calorie-wise. (Health-wise, of course, you shouldn’t be drinking beer at all, since all calories in beer are full of sugar and carbs. But we’ll ignore that just now.) They tend to be in the 90 to 110 calorie range. Miller Lite has the fewest of the mainline light beers at 96 calories. (Well, actually Pabst Extra Light Low Alcohol has even fewer at 67 calories - but no one drinks that stuff anyway, so it’s hardly worth mentioning.)

Whatever your beer of choice, you’ll find the lowest prices at BevMo. Not only are the prices low, but you’ll also find an exciting selection of craft microbrews. You can snag even better deals if you become a member.

Of course, if you’re considering a membership anywhere, your best bet would be Costco. The only catch is, of course, you’ll have to buy in bulk. But, hey, it looks like it’ll be a long, hot summer.

***Picture Thanks to Plan 59***

You need new floors and you need them now. Man cannot live on linoleum alone, no matter how spill resistant and easy to clean it may be. It’s just boring. As the great girl band Le Tigre once sang, “I’m so bored, I could be entertained even by a linoleum floor.” Amen, ladies. We live in a modern age and have access to sturdy carpets, beautiful laminate flooring, and sparkling hardwoods - all spill and moisture resistant. No longer must those of us with pets or children be chained to the ugliest plastic floors imaginable. Once you’ve decided that it’s time to re-do your floors, the array of choices before you is deliciously endless and totally within your reach, if you’ve completed a few preliminary research points.

Before even thinking (I mean it - get that thought out of your head right now) about what kind of flooring you want, you need to make a fair and honest assessment of what kind of flooring you need. Consider first what kind of lifestyle you live and what level of foot traffic the room in question experiences. Are you constantly trekking in and out of the house through this room? If this is the case you should go with tiled or parquet flooring, accented with a dark colored rug for warmth. Is there a higher chance of spills and stains happening in your room, as with a kitchen or a dining room? Laminate or vinyl are your best options as they are both a snap to clean and slip resistant for the harried cook. Ceramic tile is also a popular choice for kitchens, if you can deal with the popsicle toes in the winter. Another important issue to ponder before you head out to your local flooring store is the architectural style of the room you’ll be re-doing. Failing to do this can result in your picking out and paying big money for a type of flooring that is totally inappropriate for the vibe of the room it will be in. Flooring should be an accent to an existing style, so ask yourself: “What will look best with what I already have in place?” Once you’ve figured out what type and style will best suit your needs, you’re finally ready to shop for flooring!

So now what do you, the intrepid weekend warrior, need to know to get the biggest bang for your buck?

First of all you need to be armed with all the information the sales lackeys won’t tell you when they’re trying to sell you on a huge roll of the ugliest vinyl flooring this side of the 20th century. To make sure you’re getting a fair price, know beforehand the standard scale of pricing for floors. Luckily I, Mrs. X, have compiled a list of general price guidelines to save you to trouble of getting typing calluses on your pretty hands by Googling them yourself.

By far the most expensive type of flooring is hardwood ($6 - $15 per square foot), mostly due to the fact that it’s difficult to install properly. However, if done well, hardwood floors can last for 100 years without losing their value, though they are susceptible to scratching and gouging (you might have to give up those 6 inch heels before tottering across that particular surface).

The cost of ceramic tiles will vary based on the size, quality, and shape of the tiles. On average you might pay anywhere from $.79 to $15 per tile. If you’re okay with the cost, tiles are a great way to give texture to a floor and bring in a soft wash of color to a dark room. However, watch out: tile can be difficult to clean (and some can even stain!).

Laminate and vinyl floors are the best choice for the woman with no inclination towards housekeeping. A wide array of available designs and colors have made them a popular choice for builders and interior designers. They require no more than a mop or a broom to keep them clean and are sturdy enough to last for 10 years or more before being replaced. Laminate or vinyl are also economical choices, with laminate flooring sold at and vinyl going for a slim $1 per square foot.

Of course, there’s always carpet, which can be either very expensive ($15) or very cheap ($1 per square foot) depending on the quality. Yet wasn’t half this article concerned with the level of difficulty involved in cleaning these different types of floorings? Of them all, carpet is the most aggravating for the clean freak unless you can afford to shell out for both stain and moisture resistant coatings.

There: now you know everything you need to make a thoughtful, informed decision about your new flooring. Head out to the store and do a bit of window shopping to get your bearings. Take samples home and try them out with the furniture in the room. Sleep on your decision, think about it again during breakfast, and then wait at least a week. Remember: re-doing floors is like giving your house a facelift. Like a facelift, re-doing your floors is prohibitively expensive and making the wrong decision means living with the consequences for a good long while. SO don’t settle for just anything. To take some of the sting out of the purchasing process, check out Wholesale Carpets and Flooring for a wide selection of deals on several different kinds of flooring. The site also has retail stores in most states. If you’re stuck on top of a mountain and can’t come down, Flooring Deals Direct has a large inventory of big name flooring brands at low prices.

Happy flooring and good luck!

***Picture Thanks to Plan 59***

Entire books could be written on how to brew the perfect cup - and no doubt books have. So here’s the very short rundown: Buy whole beans. Store them in an airtight container at room temperature. (Do not freeze! Please!) Grind only the beans you need on a given day. Brew the coffee in a French press for the best flavor. Add cream and sugar at your own risk. Presto!

But when it comes to buying the best coffee, that gets a little trickier. The lowdown is that the fresher your beans are, the better the taste, so you want to buy beans that have been recently roasted. Unless, of course, you want to start roasting beans at home, which is fine - as long as you have a servant. Boca Java is a good bet, as is Coffee Fool. Both pride themselves on roasting your coffee beans mere days before you order it. For some inexplicable reason, Starbucks online store doesn’t specify how recently the beans were roasted. On the one hand, it’s Starbucks, so you know they know their coffee. On the other hand, that oversight is pretty glaring, and you may get fresher stuff picking it up at your local Starbucks instead.

Finally, there’s Coffee For Less, which is decent, but unfortunately, with coffee, you get what you pay for. No listed roasting date means they were probably roasted during the last Ice Age for all we know. Still, their coffee is a step above instant - and if you’re even considering buying instant, start at the beginning of this post and reread.

***Picture Thanks to Plan 59***

Calories are one thing, but what’s in those calories is another. High fructose corn syrup, which is used exclusively as the sweetener in soda, has been linked to diabetes, hyperactivity, hypertension and other problems. And even one can of soda will give you way more than your USDA Recommended Daily Allotment (RDA) of ten teaspoons of sugar. Finally, soda contains no vitamins, minerals, fiber, protein or anything else remotely nutritious for your body. Nada, zip, zilch. In other words, there’s nothing good in soda. Only bad things.

Well, fine, you think, I’ll just switch to diet sodas. That way, I’m really getting nothing out of it, not even the calories, so it’s fine. Nice theory, you soda addict, you - but no. True, you won’t have to worry about the calories, since most diet sodas have few calories - sometimes none.

However, preliminary studies have shown that regular consumption of diet soda often stimulates the body’s metabolism, which in turn increases the likelihood of weight gain and high blood sugar. Further, artificial sweeteners have been shown to increase a person’s cravings for sweets and thus their tendency to overeat.

So even diet soda is bad. What should you be drinking instead? The healthiest answer is, of course, water. Are you getting your three liters a day? After that is juice, which has a lot of the vitamins completely missing in soda. Juice is very good for you, but high on calories, so enjoy it, but watch your intake. If you still crave the fizz, try sparkling water or seltzer with lime. You can even add it to juice for the perfect mid-summer refreshment! And if it’s the caffeine that you miss, try green tea as a replacement.

***Picture by: Plan 59***